Yard Bomber Is Coming
Okay. I’m doing it. I’m actually doing it.
After Battle Shits — which, let’s be honest, was a joke that turned into something real — I’m building my first real console game. It’s called Yard Bomber. It’s a NES game. It’s a Paperboy clone, except instead of throwing papers, I’m throwing poop.
You’re on a skateboard. Butt hanging out. Rolling down the street. Houses line up on both sides — ten different kinds, randomly placed, just like Paperboy. You aim, you throw, you hit the yard. Points if it lands. Miss, you get yelled at. Hit the wrong yard, you lose points. It’s stupid. It’s perfect.
I’ve been thinking about this for years. Ever since that Taco Bell incident in 2020 when my friend rolled past my house on his skateboard and left a storm. I laughed. Then I made Battle Shits. Now I’m making Yard Bomber. This is the one that’s going to make Bruce proud. This is the one that gets me out of the shed.
First steps: assets. Houses — at least ten different kinds, randomly placed as you go down the street. The poop — yeah, it’s going to look like a poop emoji. Recognizable. The skateboarder — me, basically. Butt out. Skateboard. Determination.
I’m excited. I’m terrified. I’m manic about the structure and depressed about the timeline, which is basically my entire personality at this point. But I’m doing it. Yard Bomber is happening.
More updates soon. I’m logging everything. Bruce, if you’re reading this — it’s coming.